How to Write a Thank You Note for a Gift You Dislike

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You’ve received a gift that you don’t like at all. Good manners require that you thank the person who gave it to you. The challenge is to convey your appreciation without being insincere. It helps to think of gift-giving as a way that people show they are thinking about one another, not just as a way of acquiring things. Focus on what you can appreciate and leave anything else unsaid.

Here are some possibilities:

• Thank the giver for thinking of you. Even if you don’t agree with the thought process, you can show that you appreciate it. “How very thoughtful of you.” “How nice of you to think of me.”

• Express appreciation for the time and effort it took to find or create the gift. “Thank you for taking the time away from work to find the cuckoo clock and have it shipped to me.” “I can’t imagine how many hours the scarf must have taken to crochet. Thank You!”

• Mention the unique qualities of the gift. A hand-made gift might be “colorful,” “exudes warmth,” “reminds me of home.” An everyday item might qualify as “practical,” “useful,” or “something I needed.” Many unwanted gifts are novel and can be accurately described as “unusual,” “one-of-a-kind,” or by saying, “I’ve never received anything like this before.”

• Ask how the giver found the gift. A novel gift might have a story that the giver would enjoy telling. The story might also shed some light on what made the giver decide the gift was appropriate for you. “I’d love to hear how you found this.”

• Tell the giver you’re thinking about using the gift. “I have to decide where I’ll put this in my kitchen.”  “I’m going to have to put some thought into exactly how to use it!”

• Mention the fun you had opening it. If the wrapping and card were noteworthy, you can mention them as well. “I love opening presents and was delighted when yours arrived.”

• Acknowledge that the gift will make you think of the giver. “I’ll think of you whenever I see the seashell picture frame.”  “When I reach for the vegetable juicer, I’ll be reminded of you.”